By Kim Chaffin, Founder & Author of Breaking the Huddle Education
My First Coach, My Biggest Fan
My dad was my “first coach and biggest fan.” That’s a direct quote from my book, Breaking the Huddle, and it couldn’t be more true.
He taught me all kinds of sports, anything that kept my active mind and spirit moving. We played everything, from basketball and football to croquet, lacrosse, and badminton. He never limited what I could try, and he never questioned if I should.
After he passed away, I was going through his things and found an old lacrosse stick he had kept. Of all the moments in that process, that one was one of the hardest. Because it reminded me of something bigger.
It mattered to him to show me what it felt like to be supported, to be believed in, to be encouraged by the most important man in my life, to chase whatever dreams I wanted.
Smyer Made Space for Me
When I moved to Smyer ISD going into 4th grade, I had no idea how much that place would continue to shape me.
I started playing baseball. I was the only girl on the team, coached by a friend’s dad. And just like that, I was surrounded by male peers and male mentors who supported me without hesitation.
That mattered.
Through Little Dribblers, I continued to be coached by men. Even on all-girls teams, there was a strong male presence guiding, teaching, and believing in us.
The Day a Football Coach Saw Something in Me
When I got to junior high, something even bigger happened. The head varsity football coach asked my mom if I could play football in 7th grade because I had the interest and the ability. A high school FOOTBALL coach saw that in me. That matters.
I became the first girl to play football at Smyer… and I was the QUARTERBACK!
All of my coaches were men, but they never made me feel “different.” And no doubt, the boys I had grown up playing with, competing with, and challenging every day became part of the reason I was so confident in who I was on the field.
When I was interviewed and asked why a 12-year-old girl would want to play football with boys, my answer was simple: “They think boys are tougher. I just came out here to show them girls can do the same thing that boys can.” I advocated for myself. AND, I was supported.
A high school football player even spoke to the news and said I was just as good as everyone else and that everyone wanted me out there. That kind of belief stays with you.
The Men Who Shaped the Coach I Became
As I continued into basketball, I was coached by men again. My high school coach, Leland Bearden, played a huge role in shaping not just the player I was, but the coach I would later become. He believed in me, in my ability, in my future.
Beyond the coaches, my brother who is 8 years younger, contributed to so much of my success on the court, especially in high school. From the time he could handle a basketball, he was out there with me, rebounding, passing, helping me get shots up over and over again. He didn’t just stand there; he was invested in it with me. Those reps, moments, and extra shots helped shape my shooting form and played a huge role in the success I had as a player. To this day, he is still one of my biggest supporters.
I went on to play college basketball, and again, I had a male head coach. It wasn’t until much later that I realized something I had never really thought about before. I had spent my entire athletic journey being coached, guided, and empowered by men.
Holding Both Truths at Once
Now, I am one of the biggest advocates for women in sports. I believe deeply in creating opportunities for women to lead, to coach, and to have a seat at every table. But, I would be doing a disservice to my story if I didn’t acknowledge this truth:
I am who I am, in part, because of the men who believed in me. Because they didn’t see me as “different.” They saw me as capable. They didn’t hold me back. They pushed me forward.
Men at the Highest Levels Are Leading the Way
And, I’m not alone in that. We are seeing powerful examples of this kind of support at the highest levels.
Kobe Bryant, may he rest in peace, was a father who openly and passionately supported women’s basketball and his daughters’ dreams. Alex Ohanian has consistently shown unwavering support for women in sports, both as a husband to Serena Williams and through his investments and advocacy. Russell Wilson has highlighted his daughter in his 3Brand campaign, showing the world what it looks like to champion the next generation. And, Patrick Mahomes has proudly stood beside Brittany Mahomes, celebrating her accomplishments, including her recent induction into the UT Tyler Athletics Hall of Fame.
These men matter. Their voices matter. Because their belief creates space.
They Saw My Leadership Before I Did
Even when I became a teacher and coach, I saw this come full circle. The boys in my classroom would tell me I would make a great Athletic Director. Think about that. High school boys saw me in a leadership role before I fully saw it myself. And, they were right. I became an Athletic Director.
This Is What Real Support Looks Like
Today, I have stepped into a new chapter. Through Breaking the Huddle Education, I now get to write and tell the stories that young girls, AND boys, NEED to hear. These are stories that show girls as leaders, as quarterbacks, as decision-makers, but also stories that remind everyone of something equally important:
This isn’t about one side versus the other. It’s about mutual support and respect. It’s about belief. It’s about creating environments where girls are empowered and where boys and men are an undeniable and critical part of that empowerment. Because when that happens, everything changes.
I was blessed to grow up supported by the boys and men in my life. And, I will forever be thankful that they made space for me to shine, even when I was the only girl in the huddle.
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